Length and Tone

Tone can be a pretty substantial part of a story and the style of the author, so figuring out ways to change the tone of the story can be a good skill to learn for fiction writers. Of course there are tons of ways to change the tone of your story, and I'm sure I'll talk about some of those some other time, but one such way of determining tone can be by simply changing the length of your sentences.

It may sound kinda weird to put it in words, but if you use shorter, more abrupt sentences, you can a sense of suspense, anticipation, or even the feeling of time slowing down. Replace commas with periods, use a few one word sentences, create a new paragraph where you normally wouldn't, and suddenly a short paragraph will pop and seem to stretch the readers conception of time. You'll see this most often when leading up to the climax, or sometimes in fight scenes. Here are some examples to show the difference this can make:

"I leaped from rooftop to rooftop, my old sneakers crunching on the gravel with every step and causing a shower of rocks with every landing. It felt so natural to me that I didn't even comprehend when my foot caught the ledge just before jumping, the momentum sending me into the side of the adjacent building. I could hear by ribs crack as I hit the concrete wall, and nearly blacked out when I fell down onto the closed garbage container. I couldn't see my leg, but I knew that it had shattered as soon as I hit the metal lid, and I all I could think was that it was going be a hell of a time trying to get back home."

Now, a more abbreviated version, using the shorter sentences. Notice how the passage stays nearly the same, with the only change being punctuation.

"I leaped from rooftop to rooftop. My old sneakers crunched on the gravel with every step, causing a shower of rocks with every landing. It felt so natural. I almost didn't notice when my foot caught the ledge, the momentum sending me into the side of the adjacent building. My ribs cracked against the concrete wall. I landed on the garbage container on the side of my leg.

My leg shattered.

The pain almost made me black out then and there. As I laid there, there was only one thing I could think.

How the hell was I going to get home?"

It seems pretty different, doesn't it? A lot of the wording is the same though, but the internal pauses we take when we see periods and commas gives the passage a slower, more dramatic feel. 

Well I hope that little tip helps some of you guys with your writing in the future! Although I'm sure many of you may have known of this technique, maybe you've never heard it in words before and you'll begin using it in your own writing. Until next time guys, peace.

-Ink